Sometimes I Second-Guess Myself
Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.
~ Kobi Yamada
I have a habit of questioning my decisions.
Sometimes it’s as simple as: I open a left-over bag of Trader Joe’s chocolate truffles from a recent in-person group program, and I ask myself, “Do you really need to eat one more truffle? Will your belly appreciate this choice?” (It will not.)
And sometimes it’s more complicated, like: after months of hemming and hawing I change the header on the Geography of Grief’s webpage from “Starts June 2026” to “Interested? Book a Discovery Call!”
Things are shifting here at Unfold Art. The shift is that I’m putting aside grief-focused work.
(ACK! I just second-guessed telling you that.)
I want to add “for the time being.”
I want to add “creative grief support is still something I’m passionate about.”
I want to add “there’ll still be grief work in my programs, it just won’t be the main act.”
You can see I’m a little defensive, a little afraid.
When you second-guess yourself it’s due to a lack of confidence. And I want to say I have confidence about this shift…at times, at least. But when you’re about to make a big change it’s scary.
Second-guessing is like pumping the breaks. The impulse to second-guess is similar to a caution sign on the twisty turny road of life. Slowwwww dowwwwwn. It’s your inner voice asking: Aren't you going a little too fast? Are you sure you want to do this?
Here’s the thing though: fear is always going to show up.
Fear is about self-protection. It shows up to say: Whoa!!! Hang on! Don’t go near that cliff! It’s a lonnnnngggg way down. And if you jump, it’ll hurt. Or worse…YOU’LL DIE!
But the truth is, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE.
At least not from most of the decisions you’re waffling about.
Clearly, I’m not going to die from this shift in my work. In fact, based on how excited I am about my new program (still can’t tell you about it…but soon…I promise) I would say, it’s looking pretty much like I’m going to THRIVE in this new iteration.
But fear makes you feel like either you pay attention to the warnings or you’re definitely going to die.
I absolutely do recognize that many of my creativity mantras are what I need to remember in my bones right now.
“You never know where the mess will take you.”
“Trust the process.”
“Trust yourself.”
“Embrace the unknown.”
“Hold curiosity.”
“Let go of your expectations.”
“Give yourself permission.”
(Seriously, they’re just the secret sauce to life in general, wouldn’t you agree?)
Hello, my name is Susie and I’m a perfectionist.
I’m well aware that fear of making a mistake or a wrong move is deep seated for me.
Can you relate, friend?
Being a perfectionist means I may have a very loud inner voice that says shit like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe you think ANYONE will like this idea” and “EVERYONE is going to unsubscribe from your email list right now” (please don’t prove that voice right!!).
Perfectionism is the other side of rejection. And it’s highly related to abandonment and criticism.
Are you feeling me?
My fearful perfectionistic people pleaser inner voice says: You can avoid all of those nasty experiences by doing exactly what everyone wants and not what you want.
But the truth is not doing what I want means I can’t do what anyone else wants well.
Let me say that again. NOT doing what I want means I can't do what anyone else wants WELL.
If I'm not aligned with my purpose I can’t do that thing with authenticity or soul or spirit. And if you know me and have worked with me, you know that I really do try to do everything WITH authenticity, soul and spirit.
So, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say: I’m choosing to stay the course at the moment and continue to create the program that is in my heart right now. The one that’s lighting me up every morning when I come into the studio and keeping me up at night because I have a million ideas that need jotting down.
And that’s coming to you very soon.
